Spend a little time on me...in bed

Have you ever been going down on a guy and it seems like he's taking forever? I'm talking jaw cramps, neck cricks, about to choke on your own saliva for-ev-er. Do you stop? Of course not. Well maybe to proceed to other things. But if a blow job is the main event, most of us suck it up (literally) and keep going until our man is satisfied. Even if you are bored or uncomfortably positioned. I remember this one time I was giving a guy a blow job and he started thrusting into my face (which btw is not very fun for the person whose mouth it is you are fucking...so all you guys out there, please remember to be gentle). I didn't want my teeth to accidentally rub up against him. So what did I do? I used my lips to cover my teeth while he did this thing. I could literally taste blood when he was done because my lips had been cut by my own teeth. Awful, right? But did I stop? Nope. I let the guy do what he needed to do and suffered in silence until he was done.

No imagine the reverse. Your partner has been spending time working on you. It's been five minutes. You begin to wonder if you are taking a freakishly long time to finish. Now it's been ten minutes and all you can think about is how long you are taking to have your damn orgasm and how bored your partner must be. Have you ever faked it or just suggested to stop? Why is it okay to keep going and going and going when you are doing the work but when it's being done to you, women panic?

This has happened to me many times. I feel guilty that I am taking so long. Of course this feeling only makes the elusive orgasm even harder to achieve. I never thought about this until recently. It's so silly. My partner is doing something for my enjoyment. And I am sitting there trying to rush myself as though I'm on a time crunch, trying to make a deadline. 

I am in a relatively new relationship. We have only been sexually active with one another for a few weeks. I've managed to reach orgasm twice. He however has gotten off every time. I have actually found myself apologizing for it. I even told him "don't feel bad, it doesn't happen every time." This is a lie- well at least a partial lie. I have never masterbated and not maganged to bring myself to orgasm therefore it is possible every single time. However, with someone else, I am not always able to have one. 

I really like this guy and see a real future for the relationship. So why am I so quick to tell him to ignore my sexual needs? Wouldn't it be a better idea to teach him what I like, no matter how long it takes? Should I not just sit back and let him experiment until he learns my body?

And it's harder with females. For guys, you just have to touch the penis and they are happy. With women, everything is more complicated. So naturally it will take a man longer to learn how to please a woman than it took for that woman to learn how to please her guy. I know this. I can rationally tell  myself he needs time learn and I need to teach him. But then I get into bed and suddenly I freeze up and feel guilty and find myself saying "It's just not going to happen tonight baby. Don't worry. Sometimes it's just like this."

Mission #1: Stop apologizing. 

If you don't have an orgasm it's his fault, not yours. Instead, let him know what to do and keep trying. 

Mission #2: Take my time. 

It's a million times harder to enjoy myself if I feel pressed for time. This pressure comes from your own mind, not from the guy. So get over it. Don't worry about how long you take. Just enjoy the moment for however long you need. Don't feel guilty because it will be his turn next and you can pay him back for his hard work ;)